Delhi Elite, Private Gods and 49 Shades of PINK

I am serious, I am talking about living, breathing people, in fact, the dead too have a say till they reach their final destinations. Even the funeral is a happening affair. I too had the privilege of attending a few deadly ones and see the icons in about 49 shades of gray, blue, pink, pink, more pink, rare white, mauve, and some artistic multicolour.

How They Do It? Aah, sounds like a segment from the Discovery Channel.

How the Delhi Elite Do It

The rule is simple; whatever they do finds a place in the supplements, tabloids, and several television channels. So, they take up the cause that is on the minds of the masses but is to be addressed and glamorized by the classes. And indirectly the attention is grabbed even though for a moment or two.

Overflow of migrants to Delhi/NCR, the ever increasing number of motor vehicles, paucity of space and resources, Yamuna that looks worse than a drain, pollution levels that are highest in the world (WHO study), deteriorating air quality. Issues are good in number but then why should they leave the comfort zones and get on the ground?

Why They Do It

Firstly, the issues are real and raking them gets you publicity. Even for the cameras and media houses these make for good segment – Entertainment.

Secondly, even if for the show, the attention is drawn and that has to be stomached by the Aam Aadmi (not the Party, silly).

Thirdly, you get in the good books and might even be made the brand ambassador of any novel-noble project, such as fighting for the cause of reviving the DoDo, or the issue of unfair treatment meted out to the ambidextrous children in the age group of 3 years to 4 ½ years, or the right to blacklist spas or beauty clinics that fail the country by not coming up with the sure-shot formula to transform brown skin into flaxen, unfair and ugly (pun intended) is to be targeted is the bottom-line.

Cramping, Pollution and Mad Dogs

Already mentioned paucity of space in Delhi/NCR and the suffocation it induces which is very dangerous to the city elite as they hop on from attending a beauty product launch to the release of the book authored by an orthopedic surgeon specializing in the health and surgery of the middle fingers of the left hand and right foot, part of the first look of fusion flow-table, product of synthesis of flower and vegetable. Their lives are very busy and to shuttle from venue to venue in their luxury sedans and SUVs they need head-space, leg-space, just space, and most importantly road space.

The elite approach the power corridors and over cocktails discuss fashion, trends, affairs, love, romance, cricket the sport, co(s)metic surgery gone awry, dressing sense of the punch bags, medical prescriptions for every ailment, blemishes, the big O achievement, all-round knowledge, and maybe, something about the city.    

One More Nail

No one minds because it’s hardly about caring. Funerals are a somber occasion and against your wish you have to look one. Also, if it involves a celebrity, expect and be ready for a plethora of guests, née visitors who turn up to console the bereaved family and share condolences. You brave the crowd and hats off if you are claustrophobic, which in any case most of the Top Guns are.


Let me share one from the funeral of Tahir Hussain (so proud to share the first name), father of Aamir Khan. This gentleman, a very prominent SC lawyer handed over the camera to his assistant and waited for Aamir and his brother Faisal to lift the janaza. As is the rule, shoulders are changed throughout the journey. This gentleman was just next to Faisal and actually bumped in time to be clicked with Aamir on the other side. Next morning his pictures ate up full-half (full bhi hai half bhi hai) page of a few dailies with his face promptly circled and clearly mentioned in the photo caption that __________ also adorned the occasion by lending his shoulder. – Tahir Qureshi

Disclaimer: The views presented in this write-up are of the author only.  Punwadi does not ratify them either in part or whole.

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