Entertainment Puntalk

What if Anurag Kashyap remakes Sholay, Anand, and DDLJ

One of the pioneers of India’s independent cinema and a film maker who has made ‘entertaining’ films even in the noir genre, Anurag Kashyap’s films are famous for depicting the darker side of the society. His style is realistic yet musical and he is an expert in deriving humor from even a most horrific situation (remember the scene from GOW 1 where Sardar Khan murders a pahalwan!). So what if he directed some of India’s favorite movies? How would these films look like with an Anurag Kashyap make-over? Let’s have a look:

Sholay

SholayIt has just completed forty years of its release and it is still a masterpiece of Bollywood’s cinema. We all know what happened when Ram Gopal Verma tried to remake it- it became a cult flop. But how would the film turn out if it was made by Anurag Kashyap? For starters, it won’t have any straight forward characters like Thakur (the outright righteous) and Gabbar (the outright evil). There is a chance that AK would have told the story from Gabbar’s point of view. In that case Gabbar could have been a pot smoking (and not the khaini chewing) goon who was abducted in his childhood and was brought up amongst the gangsters whereas Thakur could have been the corrupt police officer who took a bribe from Gabbar’s abductors and had let them go. Thence, Gabbar would have murdered Thakur’s family but I doubt he would have cut his hands! Given AKs flair of mixing violence with humor Gabbar would have gone for something else!

Anand

AnandOne of the sweetest slice of life films ever made which makes you laugh, cry and gives a message at the same time. No wonder it inspired Raju Hirani to become a filmmaker. But if it was made by Anurag Kashyap, things would have been different! First of all Anand would have been suffering from AIDS and not Lymphosarcoma of the intestine. He could have contracted AIDS from his cheating wife who died of the same ailment before Anand came to Bombay. In Bombay Anand would have met a young man Bhaskar, who were full of angst against the society and had taken up the path of crime, and changed his life while slowly succumbing to his ailment. Even as the film would have been full of expletives, sex, and violence, it is yet hard to imagine how Anurag would have replaced the iconic line ‘Anand Mara Nahin, Anand Marte Nahin’!

Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge

DDLJA girl in her early twenties who has had a disturbing childhood is rescued from her abusive father by a boy she met during her vacations- an ideal logline for Anurag Kashyap version of Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. The role of the abusive father could be played by Piyush Mishra and the Masaan fame Vicky Kaushal and Shweta Tripathi would have been ideal for AK’s Raj and Simran. The iconic train scene in the climax would be replaced by a scene where Raj gives Simran a packet of cocaine and a chopper and says, “Ja Simran le le apna badla”. Simran would then snort some coke and barge into her father’s room and chop him off.
I just spoiled your DDLJ experience, didn’t I?

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